Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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