wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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