im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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