Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Randomize
