I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
