Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
then he tried to convert me to islam
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
