so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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