I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
