I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
