You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
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