I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
