just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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