we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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