i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Randomize
