One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Randomize
