p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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