Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
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