guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
do herpes really smell.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Randomize
