what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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