I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Randomize
