Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
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