I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
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