why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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