Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
