you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
