I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
they're like a gay fantastic four
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
