I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Randomize
