My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
