who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Randomize
