what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
