just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
why is half of my head shaved?
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
