I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
