The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
