I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
