Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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