and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
