also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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