She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Randomize
