What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
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