Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Randomize
