Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
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