he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
