no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
even my farts smell like vagina
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
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