think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
