i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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