idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Randomize
