It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
