It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I'm sorry my penis didn't work
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Randomize
