How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
