the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
